4

The atmosphere during that meal was unusually silent. After dinner, Luke sent Yvonne home, and I returned home before I slowly spoke: "Jojo, let's talk."

We sat on the sofa, far apart from each other, as if the days when we used to curl up on the sofa together to watch TV series have become a distant memory.

"Do you want to end it?" I asked softly, but instead of answering directly, I asked him, "What about you?"

He didn't respond to me either, but whispered, "We're engaged."

I responded calmly: "The engagement ceremony was not completed, so it doesn't count. After you left, I explained to all the relatives that it was just me, Jojo, who treated all the relatives to a simple meal, and the engagement should be treated as if it never happened."

Luke seemed a little shocked, as if he thought that after he left, I would endure it silently, finish the meal in tears, and regard the engagement ceremony as having been completed.

"Did you really say that that day?" he demanded.

"What else?" I asked back, with a hint of helplessness in my tone.

"All the relatives looked at me awkwardly. Can I ask you not to leave? Or can I call you back?" I continued, my tone revealing endless fatigue.

Luke was silent for a long time before he slowly spoke: "Then I'll ask my mom to look for another date and we'll get married again."

"That's not necessary." I responded softly, my words full of determination.

I was saying that there was no need to re-engage, but also as if I was saying that our relationship had come to an end. He looked at me with a dark and somewhat doubtful look in his eyes. "Didn't we agree to calm down and see what happens?"

"We agreed to calm down, but now, I feel like you've changed." I whispered, my eyes slightly red.

"I seem...to be losing you." There was a hint of trembling in his words.

My eyes were sore and everything was blurry. Luke, in fact, I had already lost you a long time ago.

"Will you be sad if you lose me?" I asked softly.

"Of course," he answered without hesitation, but I couldn't believe it.

"Jojo, let's be fine, okay?" he tried to save the situation.

" It's been eight years. It hasn't been easy for us in these eight years." He sighed.

I didn't respond to him. I know better than him how difficult these eight years have been. In countless quarrels, I learned to comfort myself and apologize and make peace when I was wronged.

I have to bear every bit of it alone.

I will always remember the hardships of these eight years.